I adore the sound of my husband's voice. It's not just that I love him, though that is true. When I was first dating him, I would save the messages he left and play them over and over again.
"Hi, Meg. Give me a call."
The stars danced. The sun wept.
That was nearing two decades ago, and the magic has mellowed. But my husband loves to read aloud to me and the rest of the family. For example, I have never first encountered Jane Austen in print--she has always entered my soul first through the voice of my husband, reading aloud.
This past year I purchased a decent USB microphone so my husband could record things. Since then I've had fun learning the technology. Here are some of the things I've gleaned:
- Good advice on tools and techniques can be found at librivox.org. Librivox is to audio recordings what Project Gutenberg is to books.
- Librivox recommends the Samson Q1 USB microphone (~$50)
- Librivox also recommends Audacity, free software for editing (producing) your recordings.
- Reduce the "pops" caused when puffs of air impact the microphone diaphragm (when you use plosives, such as ps and bs). You can use a professional pop filter ($20-80); a homemade affair with nylons, wire, and repurposed hoop ($0-10); a pencil attached vertically to the front of the mic (aerodynamic effects divert the abrupt air flow from a plosive); or position the mic off the axis of the direct blast from your mouth.
I'm beginning to dabble in the wide world of voice recording and having a blast.
10.31.2009
10.29.2009
Personal Progress
On Sunday Beth's Personal Progress leader came by to suggest ways in which the Young Women Personal Progress Achievement Award could be adapted for Beth, since she's autistic. In particular, this earnest leader was suggesting that Beth could maybe earn the award by doing less.
Now the Young Woman Person Progress Award is a big deal for a Mormon girl. It is like the Eagle Scout Award for a boy scout. There are a lot of girls who approach their 19th birthday and realize there aren't quite enough hours in the months or weeks remaining to do enough to complete the award.
As we talked about the "value experiences" and projects, it occurred to us that few of them were outside of Beth's abilities. The main challenge would be keeping up a steady tempo of achievement, getting the experiences done.
The leader mentioned an idea of making a cake or some other treat each month to encourage the girls.
"Beth loves to cook. She could help with that..."
So each month the Personal Progress leader and Beth will make cupcakes for the girls who have finished one of the Value Experiences.
Since Beth also loves computers, I created a blog with all the Value Experiences and Projects needed to earn the Personal Progress Award, along with links to the online scriptures and documents when there are suggested readings.
I earned my Personal Progress Award almost 30 years ago, back when the program was brand new. I'm pretty sure they didn't make me do everything, since it was a new program released when I was very close to leaving for college. Even if I had done everything, I have forgotten a thing or two in the intervening decades. So I look forward to doing these activities myself.
The blog is:
http://annandale-lds-yw.blogspot.com
Now the Young Woman Person Progress Award is a big deal for a Mormon girl. It is like the Eagle Scout Award for a boy scout. There are a lot of girls who approach their 19th birthday and realize there aren't quite enough hours in the months or weeks remaining to do enough to complete the award.
As we talked about the "value experiences" and projects, it occurred to us that few of them were outside of Beth's abilities. The main challenge would be keeping up a steady tempo of achievement, getting the experiences done.
The leader mentioned an idea of making a cake or some other treat each month to encourage the girls.
"Beth loves to cook. She could help with that..."
So each month the Personal Progress leader and Beth will make cupcakes for the girls who have finished one of the Value Experiences.
Since Beth also loves computers, I created a blog with all the Value Experiences and Projects needed to earn the Personal Progress Award, along with links to the online scriptures and documents when there are suggested readings.
I earned my Personal Progress Award almost 30 years ago, back when the program was brand new. I'm pretty sure they didn't make me do everything, since it was a new program released when I was very close to leaving for college. Even if I had done everything, I have forgotten a thing or two in the intervening decades. So I look forward to doing these activities myself.
The blog is:
http://annandale-lds-yw.blogspot.com
10.18.2009
Another Great Weekend I'll Forget Monday
Usually on Monday, someone will ask:
"How was your weekend?"
For some reason, I rarely remember the details of those blissful days away from work. Maybe I'm too compartmentalized. Work is work, and not work is not work.
Or maybe I'm just having so much fun I fail to sleep enough during the weekend, and thus my Monday morning mind cannot comprehend the glory that was my free time.
This weekend was unusual because I knew, going in, that it was overbooked. There was Capclave, the local specfic convention. There was CropWalk, an annual charity fundraiser. It was Ward Temple Day. And we had tickets for the 2009 tour of So You Think You Can Dance in Richmond. That doesn't even count cool things that would be fun, like the fall "Market Fair" at the Claude Moore Colonial Farm or fall activities at the local garden parks and stores. It certainly didn't include any chores.
Luckily or unluckily, water eliminated two of the contenders. A water main 60 feet under the parking lot of the Washington DC temple burst, closing the temple for a week. Rain caused organizers of most outdoor events to either cancel or send letters acknowledging that sane people would be staying home.
So life was only chockablock instead of insanely overwhelming.
My husband and I had dinner with a group of friends from my writer group (Go Codex!) before spending a leisurely evening taking in readings and discussion groups at Capclave. The next day I was back, for another reading, picking up tips on doing podcasts and revisiting the writers' workshop.
Then it was home to fix food (home-made butternut squash soup and egg foo young) before driving to Richmond for the awesome, rocking, 2009 SYTYCD concert. As usual, we stayed after for autographs and were amongst the last to leave. We got to bed by 3 am, honestly...
Sunday was the usual opportunity to worship. Being LDS, our church service lasts 90 minutes, with two other classes that add up to a 3 hour block. But since I have "stuff I have to do" before meetings and choir practice is after church, I was at church for about 5 hours.
After that it was lunch with sandwiches that included home-made sprouts (we all decided we like mung bean sprouts better than alfalfa).
Off to an Eagle Scout court of honor, a church youth discussion with our autistic daughter, a nap, and baking two loaves of homemade bread from fresh-ground whole wheat.
Then at 8pm there was the weekly chatzy with my Mom and sibs, including my brother in Afghanistan (it was 4 am for him). Read a chapter from scripture out loud with my own family, prayed, and then lingered around sharing craft ideas and clips from the web or magazines or books until everyone decided 10:30 was too late to be up before a school night. An hour later my husband gave me a kiss goodnight and went upstairs.
So now it's just me, typing a blog entry, listening to the gurgling of the dishwasher and the hum of the computer, wondering if I'm going to eat yet another slice of fresh, buttered bread before calling it quits and going up to bed myself.
No to the bread, yes to bed, so here's Goodnight!
"How was your weekend?"
For some reason, I rarely remember the details of those blissful days away from work. Maybe I'm too compartmentalized. Work is work, and not work is not work.
Or maybe I'm just having so much fun I fail to sleep enough during the weekend, and thus my Monday morning mind cannot comprehend the glory that was my free time.
This weekend was unusual because I knew, going in, that it was overbooked. There was Capclave, the local specfic convention. There was CropWalk, an annual charity fundraiser. It was Ward Temple Day. And we had tickets for the 2009 tour of So You Think You Can Dance in Richmond. That doesn't even count cool things that would be fun, like the fall "Market Fair" at the Claude Moore Colonial Farm or fall activities at the local garden parks and stores. It certainly didn't include any chores.
Luckily or unluckily, water eliminated two of the contenders. A water main 60 feet under the parking lot of the Washington DC temple burst, closing the temple for a week. Rain caused organizers of most outdoor events to either cancel or send letters acknowledging that sane people would be staying home.
So life was only chockablock instead of insanely overwhelming.
My husband and I had dinner with a group of friends from my writer group (Go Codex!) before spending a leisurely evening taking in readings and discussion groups at Capclave. The next day I was back, for another reading, picking up tips on doing podcasts and revisiting the writers' workshop.
Then it was home to fix food (home-made butternut squash soup and egg foo young) before driving to Richmond for the awesome, rocking, 2009 SYTYCD concert. As usual, we stayed after for autographs and were amongst the last to leave. We got to bed by 3 am, honestly...
Sunday was the usual opportunity to worship. Being LDS, our church service lasts 90 minutes, with two other classes that add up to a 3 hour block. But since I have "stuff I have to do" before meetings and choir practice is after church, I was at church for about 5 hours.
After that it was lunch with sandwiches that included home-made sprouts (we all decided we like mung bean sprouts better than alfalfa).
Off to an Eagle Scout court of honor, a church youth discussion with our autistic daughter, a nap, and baking two loaves of homemade bread from fresh-ground whole wheat.
Then at 8pm there was the weekly chatzy with my Mom and sibs, including my brother in Afghanistan (it was 4 am for him). Read a chapter from scripture out loud with my own family, prayed, and then lingered around sharing craft ideas and clips from the web or magazines or books until everyone decided 10:30 was too late to be up before a school night. An hour later my husband gave me a kiss goodnight and went upstairs.
So now it's just me, typing a blog entry, listening to the gurgling of the dishwasher and the hum of the computer, wondering if I'm going to eat yet another slice of fresh, buttered bread before calling it quits and going up to bed myself.
No to the bread, yes to bed, so here's Goodnight!
10.13.2009
I'm just a Baby
At least that's what my doctor said when I went in recently.
The context is this: I hurt myself a year and more ago. Significant pain. In fact, it took weeks before it receded enough to realize it was focused on my arm.
In the course of treatment, they prescribed relafen for the pain - kind of a kinder, gentler ibuprofen.
Since then I've had times when I forgot to take the relafen, or ran out, or left it home when going on travel. Most recently I went on travel/vacation for several weeks without meds, and I was an achy, sore, irritable person by the end.
I've been taking the relafen religiously, night and morning, ever since.
I mentioned this to my doctor, and he was shocked. Apparently he never intended for me to take relafen on a long term basis.
"You're young!" he exclaimed. "You're just a baby! Only 46!" He proceeded to explain what long-term use of relafen could do. Oh my.
So I've been avoiding pain meds ever since. The doctor did refer me to Capsaicin cream, a remedy based on red hot chili peppers that works better than placebo and won't destroy my innards.
I guess I'll just have to start actually taking care of myself.
The context is this: I hurt myself a year and more ago. Significant pain. In fact, it took weeks before it receded enough to realize it was focused on my arm.
In the course of treatment, they prescribed relafen for the pain - kind of a kinder, gentler ibuprofen.
Since then I've had times when I forgot to take the relafen, or ran out, or left it home when going on travel. Most recently I went on travel/vacation for several weeks without meds, and I was an achy, sore, irritable person by the end.
I've been taking the relafen religiously, night and morning, ever since.
I mentioned this to my doctor, and he was shocked. Apparently he never intended for me to take relafen on a long term basis.
"You're young!" he exclaimed. "You're just a baby! Only 46!" He proceeded to explain what long-term use of relafen could do. Oh my.
So I've been avoiding pain meds ever since. The doctor did refer me to Capsaicin cream, a remedy based on red hot chili peppers that works better than placebo and won't destroy my innards.
I guess I'll just have to start actually taking care of myself.
9.16.2009
Out of the Blue
Mormons care about family.
It's not just the cuddly kids and parents stuff either (though that is very important). It's tying families together across time and space, in hopes that someday all mankind will have the choice to be linked together.
That's what temples are for.
But for my grandmother and her siblings, that was an impossible dream. Their father, Mormon apostle John Whitaker Taylor, was famously excommunicated back in 1911 (for marrying too many women). Thus he was barred from claiming his wives and children (36 of them) in the eternities.
It has caused untolled sorrow in this group of believing, faithful folks. The later wives, the ones who "caused" the schism between John W. Taylor and the church, wore shame like a brand. They never dared attend the temple together, lest the name Taylor alert suspicion. And yet they deeply loved their husband and refused to permit anything to stand between them and the possibility of eternal reunion with their husband.
Five of the wives were barred by US law from inheriting any of their husband's estate when he died in 1916. Despite the resultant poverty and their large families, each of John's widows received offers of marriage.
If they had remarried, John's children might have come to love a living stepfather. The children might have decided they preferred to be linked eternally to some man other than John.
John's wives never gave their children that possibility. Every one of these six beautiful (and they were beautiful) women went to their graves mourning their decades dead husband, poverty and loneliness notwithstanding.
As recently as 2009 descendants of John Whitaker Taylor and his brides were requesting permission to "seal" the family together, to no avail.
Then, suddenly, almost magically, a change took place. The church-owned database (available via new.familysearch.org to church members) was quietly updated just 100 years after John Whitaker Taylor disobediently married his last wife.
The record now shows John and his wives eternally and uniquely bound together (assuming, as always, that they so choose and God agrees). Not only that, but the sealing dates for two of the wives has been updated to reflect the day on which they were married in 1901, and their children are now shown as "born in the covenant."
All thirty-six are gone now, the last one gone to her grave in 2004. But those who comforted John's children and heard their cries know how much this means.
We who remain are left to contemplate this scripture, given to Joseph Smith in March of 1830, before the Church itself was even founded:
_____
Woes shall go forth, weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth...
Nevertheless, it is not written that there shall be no end to this torment, but it is written endless torment... that it might work upon the hearts of the children of men, altogether for my name’s glory.
Behold, I am endless, and the punishment which is given from my hand is endless punishment, for Endless is my name.
_______
For the descendants of John Whitaker Taylor the torment of separation is now over. All is knit back together. The family can be at peace.
It's not just the cuddly kids and parents stuff either (though that is very important). It's tying families together across time and space, in hopes that someday all mankind will have the choice to be linked together.
That's what temples are for.
But for my grandmother and her siblings, that was an impossible dream. Their father, Mormon apostle John Whitaker Taylor, was famously excommunicated back in 1911 (for marrying too many women). Thus he was barred from claiming his wives and children (36 of them) in the eternities.
It has caused untolled sorrow in this group of believing, faithful folks. The later wives, the ones who "caused" the schism between John W. Taylor and the church, wore shame like a brand. They never dared attend the temple together, lest the name Taylor alert suspicion. And yet they deeply loved their husband and refused to permit anything to stand between them and the possibility of eternal reunion with their husband.
Five of the wives were barred by US law from inheriting any of their husband's estate when he died in 1916. Despite the resultant poverty and their large families, each of John's widows received offers of marriage.
If they had remarried, John's children might have come to love a living stepfather. The children might have decided they preferred to be linked eternally to some man other than John.
John's wives never gave their children that possibility. Every one of these six beautiful (and they were beautiful) women went to their graves mourning their decades dead husband, poverty and loneliness notwithstanding.
As recently as 2009 descendants of John Whitaker Taylor and his brides were requesting permission to "seal" the family together, to no avail.
Then, suddenly, almost magically, a change took place. The church-owned database (available via new.familysearch.org to church members) was quietly updated just 100 years after John Whitaker Taylor disobediently married his last wife.
The record now shows John and his wives eternally and uniquely bound together (assuming, as always, that they so choose and God agrees). Not only that, but the sealing dates for two of the wives has been updated to reflect the day on which they were married in 1901, and their children are now shown as "born in the covenant."
All thirty-six are gone now, the last one gone to her grave in 2004. But those who comforted John's children and heard their cries know how much this means.
We who remain are left to contemplate this scripture, given to Joseph Smith in March of 1830, before the Church itself was even founded:
_____
Woes shall go forth, weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth...
Nevertheless, it is not written that there shall be no end to this torment, but it is written endless torment... that it might work upon the hearts of the children of men, altogether for my name’s glory.
Behold, I am endless, and the punishment which is given from my hand is endless punishment, for Endless is my name.
_______
For the descendants of John Whitaker Taylor the torment of separation is now over. All is knit back together. The family can be at peace.
8.22.2009
Being Frugal
I got a call on my cell phone from my married daughter. She knows we can talk for "free" when we use those phones.
We had a good time reconnecting and sharing stories. Then she said,
"Oh. And the reason I called was to tell you we've topped $1000 saved."
She and her husband are married college students, her husband has a job in a deli, and they've been assiduously stashing away money. So for them having a $1000 emergency fund is quite an accomplishment.
While we were talking, I was putting away food I had purchased from Angel Food Ministries. Angel Food is a Christian food ministry, but you don't have to be indigent to take advantage of their food. In fact, each box processed does two things (besides save money for the person buying the food):
1) The charity distributing the food gets $1, which usually goes towards their own food pantry or good works ministry.
2) Any excess food goes to the charity distributing the food.
Now off to reserve hotel rooms for our end-of-summer vacation at hotwire.com...
We had a good time reconnecting and sharing stories. Then she said,
"Oh. And the reason I called was to tell you we've topped $1000 saved."
She and her husband are married college students, her husband has a job in a deli, and they've been assiduously stashing away money. So for them having a $1000 emergency fund is quite an accomplishment.
While we were talking, I was putting away food I had purchased from Angel Food Ministries. Angel Food is a Christian food ministry, but you don't have to be indigent to take advantage of their food. In fact, each box processed does two things (besides save money for the person buying the food):
1) The charity distributing the food gets $1, which usually goes towards their own food pantry or good works ministry.
2) Any excess food goes to the charity distributing the food.
As it says in their website, "There are no qualifications, minimums, income restrictions, or applications. Everyone is encouraged to participate. Some churches even encourage participants to apply the money they saved to help someone else in need."
Lastly, I checked eBay, and I did win the grain mill I was bidding on for less than 70% of the price of a new grinder. Milling grain means being able to make our own whole grain bread, etc. Good stuff. Then again, the true coup goes to my sister, who found a Whisper Mill at a yard sale for $1. That's less than 0.5% of the retail price, which beats my 70% all hollow.Now off to reserve hotel rooms for our end-of-summer vacation at hotwire.com...
8.19.2009
Thoughts on Marriage
The other night I had the chance to attend one of three lectures about family issues, with the promise of ice cream and cookies afterwards. How could I lose?
The first two rooms I passed were discussing 1) aging parents and 2) how to discipline children. Since my parents are crazy healthy and my remaining children at home are girls, these classes were only of passing interest.
The third class was on Marital Happiness. The lecturer was a Dr. Bowen - a mental health professional.
The first set of statistics was interesting. I'd heard how 50% of marriages end in divorce. But the interesting part was the statistic that 80% of those who remain married are living parallel lives - physically in the same marriage, but not much more. Only 20% of those who remain married (10% of those who marry in the first place) are enjoying thriving relationships.
Yikes.
I left with many handouts and lots of thoughts about how to apply what I'd heard to my own marriage. One book that was mentioned particularly was "And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment." I bought the book on Amazon, and took some time to browse the pages that Amazon lets you view. The core idea is that chastity is great (abstaining from sex outside of marriage) but in the context of marriage sex is not only nice but necessary. Far too many good people, the author contents, fundamentally hurt their marriages either through ignorance of how to sexually fulfill their partner (and receive fulfillment) or are hindered by the idea that sex is nasty and sinful and disgusting. To make matters worse, they perpetuate that ignorance or that prudish worldview in how they teach (or not) their children.
At the same time I've been trying to do research for my novel, in which one character (historical, I didn't just make this up for the fun of it) falls from grace because of his obsession with physical love. In the course of the research came across a variety of websites that I found surprising. There are even more words I will now no longer use because I know their connotation. On the other hand, folks who approach sex unburdened by hang-ups and willing to "improve" their skills in providing pleasure in the pursuit of receiving greater pleasure will reap the blessings, if you will, associated with honoring that aspect of their physical being.
One fun comment Dr. Bowen made was "Sexual intimacy is best after thirty years of marriage." The unspoken qualifier is that it's among those who learn how to become truly intimate, the 10%. And it would not apply to those who constantly seek new partners in pursuit of a hot fling.
Of course, such stuff simply reeks for those who would, themselves, be capable of intimacy, but have either remained single or lost a spouse due to factors beyond their control.
A final note is about what it takes to start of well in marriage. Dr. Bowen asked a volunteer to rank their connection with their loved one based on Physical, Emotional, Social, Intellectual, and Spiritual aspects. On a scale from 0 to 100, the volunteer ranked their relationship as 60, 70, 80, 95, and 90, stating they were 100 as far as commitment to the relationship. Dr. Bowen turned to the board on which these scores had been plotted and drew a line at 80. "If you are not yet married and have any of these areas that are not at least 80, then don't marry." That was surprising. But on reflection I thought of Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice," where the heroine, Lizzie, could have married Mr. Collins. It would have been a marriage, but doomed to be one of those "parallel" marriages (as Austen demonstrates when the practical Charlotte does later agree to marry Mr. Collins.
May we all become like Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett, rather than like Mr. Collins and the hapless Charlotte.
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